Saturday, January 16, 2010

A Battle of the Wills is raging

Well I must say that this week has been much better than last. Attitudes were much better although still present. The Lord used situations this week to help me learn something about myself and my son. I am finding more this year how much of a strong will my son has. We knew and suspected that he did because we saw evidence of it as he was an infant or toddler. We saw more evidence of it as he grew up but it didn't seem to be quite as previlant the last couple of years. Do any of you have a strong willed child? How do you deal with it?

A dear friend of mine gave me a great analogy yesterday as she was helping me through one of those battle of the wills. He is like a lion in temperament and I am like a lamb. The lion struts around trying to gain control of his territory and show he is king and the lamb stands there trying to figure out how to bring this to an end and keep from getting eaten. It isn't like I don't discipline him at all, I struggle with knowing how and when to do so and to what extent. My tendency is to threaten a certain discipline and then when it is too late I realize that I've really messed myself up by threatening and not following through.

I know the enemy seizes the opportunity to grab a hold of me in my weakness and cause me to doubt my ability to effectively discipline my son. Sometimes it takes me a little bit to realize that a situation is slipping out of control and like yesterday I loose sight of my job as a parent - only momentarily. Then I have to remember to ask myself, what has God called me to do as a Mother to Riley? These verses came to me this morning.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

34"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35"By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35

My job as Riley's Mother is to train him up in the way he should go, so he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6), to raise him up in the admonition of the Lord, (Ephesians 6:4) and to show him Jesus, to set an example of Christ before him and be obedient and discipline him in love. In my thoughts and prayers this morning I have been reminded of Hebrews 12:4-12

4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as children? It says,
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

6 because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his child." [a]

7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate children at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had parents who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 Our parents disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Wow! What encouragement to persevere, to press on and to not loose hope regarding my son's strong will and my inability at times to keep the battle of the wills under control. Thank you Lord that your promises are true and you lovingly chasten us when we loose sight of our job as a parent to these precious gifts you have given us. As my husband and I discussed this situation we have with our son and how it is my job as his Mother and teacher to lovingly discipline Riley. God used my loving husband to show me that I need to have the temperament of the lamb but not back down, to keep persevering and hanging on to my territory as a parent. My prayer this week is that i don't loose sight of that territory and give in to the lion that is waiting to take it from me.


Jenilee said...

great post! I love reading parenting posts and especially love the scripture that you added to it! God is so faithful to encourage us when we are in need of help. :)